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Your life is not over at 11!

Alright, some of you might have seen my facebook post this morning that went like this

“So far this year I have managed to completely destroy Declans life, embarrasse Henrik and Quentin every time I show up at school during school hours, made Quentin upset cause I won’t do his homework for him, be the “language monitor” mom, and annoy Sybie cause I won’t let her wear shorts and short sleeves when it’s below zero outside.
And I’m just sitting here, smiling, having a good time”😆#momproblems#kids

I really was laughing to myself as Quentin slammed the door shut when he left for school this morning. The last month or so we have had many long discussions on being prepared and getting homework done on time. I kept saying to my husband Dave “Maybe we should let him fail and maybe he would feel different about homework”. We decided to try it out. I still asked him every day if he had homework and to get it out. Most days he would. They have been doing a project on Dr. Seuss and he really enjoys research projects. But there have been days when he gives up and doesn’t finish.
So, this week because he had 5 missing assignments he had to stay after school for homework club, which is where the kids stay after and work on homework until all assignments are made up.  He came home the first day tired and irritated. The second day he came home pretty happy thinking he had done all his homework at homework club and was done for the day. I have a parent site where I can go check and see what is due the next day….he had 3 other assignments still to do. So, I told him and showed him on the computer, which he got frustrated, yelled at me and told me “it’s not fair”. I reminded him that it was his responsibility to get it done. I never saw him do any of them that night.
The next morning I asked him about the assignments to which he sheepishly replied he hadn’t finished them. He had a hard time getting ready that morning and I knew if he was late again he was going to have detention. So, instead of yelling and trying to hurry him along I decided to leave it up to him. He was 10 minutes late to school!
Later that day he called me from the front office to tell me he had detention that day after school and that he had to stay after tomorrow for homework club again. Later after he got home I asked how it was, to which I got a “leave me alone……my life is over…….I wish we never moved here!!!”
You know the movie “Inside Out”, yeah can someone get his Joy to kick in???
Just like in the movie, I think he is between childhood and growing up to the next stage.
I have to remind myself to that Quentin has ADHD which is a struggle on many levels. But I don’t want him to depend on his medication his whole life, I want him to learn to control his brain and focus. It can be done! I know several people who have ADD or ADHD who have taught them selves to function without medication.
I love this kid and I know he is growing into such a great person. He is helpful, loving, sweet, and loves to explore. He says he wants to be an inventor or engineer someday.
I would love to hear others experience with this. You wise Moms out there have some wisdom I need to hear, I know it! Your thoughts and feelings, but no arguing 🙂
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